What Makes An Elf Build Toys EP

by Angry Snowmans

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This year, the Elves Of The North Pole decided to get down and dirty blasting this EP of rippers out live off the floor, deep in the heart of Fernwood.

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released December 9, 2015

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Angry Snowmans Victoria, British Columbia

Disgruntled, displaced Elves of the North Pole who are telling the world about Santa's abusive practices by playing classic punk rock songs. Started in 2008, there is no end in sight. Grab an eggnog and get your ass under that mistletoe! Ho-Ho-Ho- Let's Go! ... more

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Track Name: Bing Crosby Wrote Festive Christmas Songs
I'm dreaming
And celebrating
I'm wishing
On a mission
Treetops glisten
Children listen

Bing Crosby wrote festive Christmas songs!
Bing Crosby wrote festive Christmas songs!

Sleigh Bells
In the Snow now
palm trees sway
Singing
Yuletide bringing
Greetings to you

Bing Crosby wrote festive Christmas songs!
Bing Crosby wrote festive Christmas songs!
Track Name: Naughty Children Suck
Naughty children suck
it's easy to see
their parents were jerks
for leavin’ them be
didn’t teach ‘em any manners or any of it
I say give ‘em lumps of coal
but they don’t deserve shit
Santa Claus is just sayin’ nope
to these evil sons of bitches
who never had a hope
but because they’re never jolly
their life is pretty weak
an ugly little bastard
with no presents by the tree
Naughty Children Suck
Naughty Children Suck
Track Name: Take The Tree Down
My wife says that I gotta take the tree down
She says I’m the worst
If I don’t get that thing outta here
She’s gonna go berserk (cuz)

I’m lazy and it’s March
It’s brown and it’s shedding
She’s going BERESRK!

I see the decorations and
The tinsel and lights
On a stick that’s brown and grey
Needles on the carpet is where they lay (cuz)

I’m lazy and it’s March
It’s brown and it’s shedding
She’s going BERESRK!

I won’t apologize
For letting the tree die
You see that Spring has come
Gonna leave the tree as long as I can (cuz)

I’m lazy and it’s March
It’s brown and it’s shedding
She’s going BERESRK!
Lazy! Lazy! Lazy! Lazy!
I don’t care if it’s fuckin’ dead
I don’t care if it’s fuckin’ spring
I’m so sick of Christmas time
I just wanna scream… WHY?
Track Name: Christmas Spirts Dying
Christmas spirit is dying
And No one’s realizing
It’s all about love and having some fun

Christmas Spirit is dying
They’re trying to commercialize it
We got a problem son,
Something’s gotta be done

With the Elves
And the Reindeer
And the big fat guy who brings out all the presents
All got one thing in common
They don’t want anyone to go shop in a mall
Track Name: Sleigh Ride
Sleigh Ride – sugar plums in my head
Sleigh Ride - you're tucked into bed
Sleigh Ride - it's a yearly flight
Sleigh Ride – on Christmas night

There's some coal, there's some coal in your sock
Shouldn’ta been naughty from the start
Stickin' bows, I'm writing tags
Got all the presents in a fur lined bag

I need to talk to Santa - to look inside my head
Every time I build a toy – I’d rather wind up dead
I see my life - in visions dental health
my life is North Pole hell - there's no escape

There's some coal, there's some coal in your sock
Shouldn’ta been naughty from the start

Sleigh Ride – sugar plums in my head
Sleigh Ride - you're tucked into bed
Sleigh Ride - it's a yearly flight
Sleigh Ride
Track Name: Oh Santa Claus
Every Christmas Eve the chimney going down
The kids are all naughty, you still come to town
You don`t feed the deer, you don`t fix the sled
And all the elves need shrinks cuz their screwed in the head
Oh Santa Claus
What’s wrong with you
You better wake up
Now what you gonna do
The big companies are milking us dry
The Christmas spirit is soon gonna die
And at the North Pole they’ll never be free
They slave in the workshops to put the stuff beneath the tree
Oh Santa Claus
What’s wrong with you
You better wake up
Now what you gonna do
And all of these children want a lot of useless toys
You’re so fucking jolly spoiling all the girls and boys
You don`t feed the deer, you don`t fix the sled
And all the elves need shrinks cuz their screwed in the head
Oh Santa Claus
What’s wrong with you
You better wake up
Now what you gonna do
White Christmas